Day171

[DealingWithRegret] 15mins

"We’re not defined by our actions. We’re not even defined by our thoughts."

Andy says we are defined by the fundamental quality that’s beyond our thoughts and actions. It’s the blue sky he has been talking about that everyone has. Is it a way to connect all humankind to something bigger? I think this is a way for us to be calmer and be able to move forward easier. But that sounds too easy for me. Shouldn’t we think of ourselves in a more individualistic view to be responsible for our action and thoughts? Maybe it’s just a different way of thinking needed at different times. For times when I need to be calm, this way of thinking and definition can help with that, and be responsible for day to day life. Maybe I am just not fully understanding this idea of the definition by our higher quality. I think a good life guidance should apply to every aspects of life and not just picking certain instances. That’s similar to the goal of a unified theory in Physics. That’s the dream for us physicists. And it’s still just a dream in reality now, similar to the life guidance.

At the start of the lesson, Andy mentioned in passing about the resolutions from regrets. That’s a good way to use those events. Although it’s a cliche, I haven’t really utilized it much. I don’t remember much of the regrettable events in my past. I could only think about those two events I did wrong with my two cousins. I think it was the year before last during which our little family was going through some huge changes, I suddenly remembered those events and felt sorry to them and apologized to them to make amend. I didn’t think our relationships were bad or anything. It was just to clear my conscience and hopefully to bring some warmth into their heart. They are good boys. 

Today’s session had a new development. I found that right after I noticed I was fully engaged in thoughts to pull my attention back, I fell into a deep focus state that’s like the deep water condition before but even more so in my entire body. I broke that concentration when I thought about this condition, and couldn’t get back to it right away. However, I was able to recreate this thought to deep focus process in the same session. It felt really good to be in that deep focus state. My whole body was very relaxed in the state. I wish I could get into that deep focus often.