Day 256: anxiety and goal of meditation


[ManagingAnxietyLvl1] 15mins
"It’s about building a strong foundation for acknowledging how you think and feel, with both the body and the mind."
Build the foundation opposed to what? Oppose to just doing the motion? It should be talking about the everyday practice, Andy says the foundation is creating a space for the thinking and feeling to be noted. The space for them to exist but not occupying all of me. That’s how I interpret it.
Because of the morning phone call with outside vendor, I did the meditation at the office this morning. There were a lot of distractions around but I was doing well during this session. I noted pretty strong emotion of anxiety on top of my stomach, all the way to the top of my lung. There was something else at the lower end of my stomach. I think it’s also anxiety/nervousness but it’s different than the one on top. The top one was more suffocating and the bottom one being a sharper pain. It could be the difference between anxiety and nervousness. Anxiety is more overwhelming and weighing on people. It’s more like a heavy blanket on my shoulder. Nervousness is a more acute feeling when it’s getting closer to the event. That knife pointing from below that keep jabbing at the stomach. I think that’s the one that prompt people to pop stomach acid medicine. I am feeling them both now.
[Creative Writing] 10mins
"Once a day, sit down and write or draw the first thing that comes to mind, no matter how silly it might be."
Maybe it doesn’t really need to be anything substantial. Just like meditation, the goal can just be the journey. The goal is just doing it consistently. 

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