Explore the world, explore the self

[ ManagingAnxietyLvl1] 15mins "Let your thoughts and feelings come and go without trying to control them. Bring your mind back to the moment." Andy said it’s like talking to friends and families. You never think about how you talk to them but just talk to them. Observing thoughts and emotions should be similar to that, just observe and not thinking.   I didn’t have the satisfactory feeling when letting go because my concentration on the breath wasn’t as deep as yesterday. No pain no gain. Need to do the work in order to feel the reward.

[ManagingAnxietyLvl1] 15mins "It’s about building a strong foundation for acknowledging how you think and feel, with both the body and the mind." Build the foundation opposed to what? Oppose to just doing the motion? It should be talking about the everyday practice, Andy says the foundation is creating a space for the thinking and feeling to be noted. The space for them to exist but not occupying all of me. That’s how I interpret it. Because of the morning phone call with outside vendor, I did the meditation at the office this morning. There were a lot of distractions around but I was doing well during this session. I noted pretty strong emotion of anxiety on top of my stomach, all the way to the top of my lung. There was something else at the lower end of my stomach. I think it’s also anxiety/nervousness but it’s different than the one on top. The top one was more suffocating and the bottom one being a sharper pain. It could be the difference between anxiety...

[ManagingAnxietyLvl1] 15mins "If you tend to be anxious in everyday life, try to simply note it and return to the moment." Andy told me to distinguish thinking and feeling. I found that I was thinking the most of the time and didn’t have the feeling moment often. Or maybe that’s what I thought. Maybe I have miscategorized my feelings into thinking. As the event of talking to her, I thought I was thinking about the ways she behaved and what I plan to do, but in fact, I was feeling some anger toward her. I was feeling that she was being unfair. That was the feeling. Maybe I have been doing that, categorizing my feeling into me thinking about the event and thinking about what I should be doing. Maybe planning is part of “thinking”, but I should recognize my feeling toward the events as that, feelings.   So that means I finally am taking the first step toward my goal. After 251 days, I finally am recognizing my feelings and dealing with it. It’s later than I have tho...