Day 164

[DealingWithDistraction] 15mins
"When we don’t try too hard, the idea of effortless focus starts to make a lot more sense."
Suppressing my eye movement doesn’t seem to work. Maybe that’s ‘trying too hard.’ I should just let it happen. I didn’t have as deep a focus as yesterday. I felt it both on my still moving eye movements and my mind. Still felt relaxed after the session but the difference between focus and letting go of focus wasn’t very obvious. I felt the familiar sense of comfortable pulsing in my head but not as profound. But maybe I shouldn’t seek that experience and just accept what I am feeling from day to day. 

I think meditation helps me accept what other people feel. Before this, I know what other people feel about things, but I thought there’s some way to get rid of those unpleasant feeling or emotions. That is denying what and how they feel. Denial is not a good way to go about helping others. I think I am more accepting of her feelings and thinking now. I still don’t know how to help, but I am on the right track. I think I will just put in the effort and time to see what can happen.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day4: accepting the unexpected

"Sometimes life cannot be explained, and that’s ok. We might feel frustrated by this, and that’s ok too." I have the mentality for the first part of this lesson. I accept a lot of things can and will happen. But I need to learn about the second half of this. It’s ok to feel not ok with those unexpected things, especially the feelings of other people.  
Read more

Day305: unguided meditation

[Unguided 15mins] It went pretty well at the beginning. I was able to get into counting my breath well and go through several 10 counts in and out. However, I kind of dozing off fishing during the breathing. I don’t think I fell asleep but I suddenly had to catch myself from falling forward. It happened more than three times I think. I seemed to have some trouble maintaining the focus.  
Read more

Day354: soft focus

[TransformingAnger] 15mins "We tend to notice anger as soon as it happens, but we often don’t notice the end of it." I think my annoyance is similar to anger. It might be just a milder version of anger to me. So next time when I feel annoyed, I will notice my out-breath and relax. It’ll be even better if I can catch the end of my feeling. See how my emotion changes. I felt a good posture today. Maybe it’s in the latter half of the session. I felt all my spine lined up and my thigh muscle relaxed. I noticed I tend to lean forward and that causes my leg muscles to tense up. When I opened my eyes in my good posture, I was looking straight instead of looking down like I have been doing for working and reading.  I finally get a hand on soft-focus today. I visualized in my session that I leaned back from my breath and only reach out one of my arms to ‘touch’ on the breath. Previously I was full head into the breath, the full focus on the breath. However, there w...
Read more